BED RESTlessness.

This entire experience has left many paradoxical thoughts in my head. On one hand, I'm very blessed that our little boy is still inside warm and cozy- 6 weeks later. On the other, I am still suffering from this "lay and do nothing" regimen I must stick to.

I will admit- I have had many up and down days. My "down days" tend to consist of crying and feeling sorry for myself and then watching a sappy romantic comedy while enjoying chocolates or cake. Pathetic? Slightly, but whatever it takes to get me through those tough days and move forward.
Would I enjoy a shopping spree at Babie's "R" Us instead of babiesrus.COM? Sure.
Would I like to go for a nice jog or stroll around the block? Probably.
Could I see myself preparing the baby's room and "nesting" around the house? Absolutely.
But for now, all I see is the reflection of my face against this computer screen, the TV actors and reality stars taunting me with their fun and exciting adventures, and the sound of my phone startling my dog every time someone texts or calls.

Part of my feels like I'm slightly being robbed of my latter pregnancy weeks, when everyone notices you're pregnant and are finally not afraid to ask. I'd like to be out taking pictures of my baby bump, showing it off and being stopped by strangers wondering 'how far along I am' or 'when am I due.' Sometimes it's hard not to think that I'm missing out on some of the 'joys' of pregnancy, all while facing most of the 'hardships' head on.

Now, it may seem like I am drowning in my own sorrows, and this is an utterly poignant display of my emotions, but I DO see the light at the end of the tunnel. I DO know the benefits of what I am doing. I'm just saying... it's not easy.

On the other hand- on my "up days" I realize how BLESSED I truly am to have the support from family and friends that I do. Sometimes I feel like a princess being waited on hand and foot. That I'm just living this 'fantastical' dream where all I have to do is get through the day to be allowed to see my Prince Charming. And when reality weasels it's way back... I think- I'm not the only one who is dealing with this whole bed rest process. My husband has to endure most of the household chores and he's gotten really good at making grilled turkey sandwiches. I have truly seen his strength, support and dedication for his little family, and I could not have gotten this far without his optimistic jokes, smiles and raps about our son.

Just when I think I am going to lose it and have a break down, I think of how blessed I...we...Ryder and I...really are. I snap back to reality, put the tissues  and chocolates away, and wait for the love of my life to come home from his exhausting job. When I see his face, I remember what he and I are both doing this for: our little man.
This will definitely be my favorite and habitual bedtime story to tell Ryder when he gets here.

BTK 2.0 is a little impatient!

Well, I would say "December 2 Remember" this year!

Little man decided he wanted to come play SUPER early and on December 8th I went into pre-term labor.
Funny thing was I was totally fine just hours before..I had worked on Nyte Roc all day then met up with Billy and some friends for dinner at Taco Diner. At the end of the meal I started feeling some pain so I left a few minutes before everyone else to go lay down at home. The pain just kept getting worse and worse and finally Billy just decided to take me into Labor and Delivery (just in case). Sure enough...

That night they gave me shot after shot of terbutaline to stop the contractions, and after that didn't work they gave me Magnesium through my IV to stop labor--which made me feel SO sick...and nauseated like I had the flu. The nurse gave me demerol for the pain too...which made me say funny things and then I just passed out. They also gave me two steroid shots in my bootie for the baby's lungs JUST in case I had him that night. After 24 hours of Magnesium, it finally slowed my labor down and my body relaxed.

The nurse came in early the next morning and said that the doctor on call "slept with one eye open" because she figured at any minute she would receive a call that I was having this baby. ....That didn't freak me out or anything. HA.

From Dec 8th-23rd, Billy and I spent every day and night in the hospital. He luckily got a few days off to spend with me initially and thank GOD for that because I think I was traumatized and in shock for the first few days. He really helped me get through all of it, and kept me calm and SANE. It was a tough two weeks but I am so thankful for so many things.
One, I'm thankful that he is still inside...warm and cozy...growing and getting stronger every day. I was only 25 weeks when I went in...and when I met with the neonatalogist she went over all of the possible disabilities or diseases this child could develop being born that early. It would have been very hard for all of us.
Two, I'm SO thankful for all the love and support we received while in the hospital. Obviously first and foremost my husband-who was with me every step of the way..and is STILL doing everything he can for me...and also my family and friends. Thank you for visiting me, keeping me company, calling me, and for caring so much about all of us. The cards, flowers, meals, gifts...it was too kind...and I really really appreciated ALL the thoughts and prayers for us. THANK YOU so much. I really don't know what I would have done without ALL of your support.
Also, the doctors, nurses and staff were all SO helpful and supportive during this time as well. I made some friends- and I really got to see their hearts. These women had such a strong passion for taking care of us and I know how much they did for me and my little family. It's not an easy job but they always had smiles on their faces!
Lastly, I'm EXTREMELY thankful that everything stayed stable and we were able to be home for Christmas. It was such a wonderful Christmas with our families and it was such a peaceful feeling being back home. I think Baby The Kidd got more gifts than any of us...and it was definitely a small Christmas for us- but my Christmas present was him still growing inside of me and us getting to be home to enjoy our decorations and each other.

Unfortunately I will be stuck on bed rest until I reach 34 weeks...BUT I guess that means time to rest before he gets here, and time to get things done..while laying down. lol.

Thank you ALL again for all the thoughts and prayers....they really worked. It's a true miracle and a blessing that everything is alright..and I can't wait for the little man to get here...but I can until it's really time! haha.

Thanks for reading this INSANELY long blog...next one won't be so dramatic! Take care.


With love,


Julie

Baby The Kidd

So I would say our lives have changed drastically in the last couple years. We got engaged in New York City, married in Key West, FL on the beach, and now expecting our most wonderful blessing in the world: a baby boy. 


Right now I am 5 months, definitely have a baby bump, and Baby The Kidd is kicking and moving like CRAZY! (well, he has been for the past month, but he's a big little boy in there!) 
I finished registering online at www.myregistry.com (password is "baby.") I will say it was difficult choosing exactly what we liked, but it was a lot of fun in the process!


So far I have gotten his crib bedding set (black, white and yellow theme) and my rocker! Still trying to figure out what crib furniture set we want- another hard part of pregnancy!
My first trimester was really hard...I was sick and tired all the time, but I am SO much better now! I'm able to work, work-out, spend good quality time with friends and family and still be in bed by 10!
I am just so thankful for this beautiful God-given blessing in our lives. A friend shared this quote with me and I find it SO true so I'm going to share it with you:

"A mother's joy begins when new life is stirring inside... when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone." ♥

I am constantly reminded of my little bundle of joy. I can't wait until I get to hold him in my arms and look at his sweet little face. 

Just to give you an idea of where I'm at, here is our little guy:

He looks like a little gummy bear here at 18 weeks. :) Oh and by the way, he kicks the most when I play top 40 songs for him...especially Eminem and Beyonce.. (smart kid)...our little music man already!

Thanks for checking this site out...I will try to update this as often as possible and keep you informed on his progression!

With love,

Julie